#bc we get along like. REALLY well
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thrilling sequel to my poll from back in January
#I wish I was kidding about the eulogy one. I really wish I was#decisions decisions. who to chose#the people I actually like…?? or the people who like me?#these are so stupid I love making them.#bbge polls#bbge.text#more info on each#bc I want to yap abt em#1 - PLEASE return my calls… this girl was so kind and gentlemanly and we had suchhhh awesome chemistry#she goes to an Ivy League so it could be she’s just hella busy w work not ghosting me#I hope it’s that I really liked her :’)#2 - I actually did ask him out. kinda indirectly . and casually. too casually bc now neither of us have brought it up again#he makes me so happy to be around 😭 it makes me kinda emotional#he’s just like… sHOCKING and endearing and never the same#I love him unfortunately no matter what. as a human#3 - SAME FOR HERRRR OMG :( my beloved.#no one has ever been kinder to me maybe.#‘British’ is a downside here bc that means v long distance and . also bc I thought it would be funny to count as a point against her lol#we met during the summer and I miss being around her every day#4 - OKAY. we TOTALLY have chemistry and NOO ONE has acknowledged it. but it’s THERE every time we talk.#and I’ve never really had that w somebody before in this way idk 🫥#I accidentally referred to her as my ‘partner’ when our party members were teamed up together to do something and it was probably FINE but#it sounded so romantic I got embarrassed asf#she can probably tell I like her I don’t think I’m slick 😭😭#and I feel like she might like me too? or we just get along real well I’m not sure#bc we get along like. REALLY well#5 - I stare at her all the time… she is stunning. she writes great poems. soft spoken in this incrediblyyyyy endearing way#I worked up the courage to talk to her n get her number for WEEKS!!!! and then. nothing lol#6 - he’s a great conversationalist… and I know he’s single….. but he also likes Quentin Tarantino like. abnormal amounts idk#shit . I’m out of tags. for the rest uhhh use ur imagination bye :)
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Stillborn? No, still born au -- Dani Phantom! Clone girl herself. :]
She can't exist in this au. And it's not that I don't want to add her -- although I'll be blunt, I don't, I'll be the first to admit that I think she's more often than not nothing more than a narrative deadweight used to prop up Danny and I don't like adding characters as props -- but her existence quite literally goes against and muddies the Vlad and Danny dynamic I have for this au. Ellie's existence in canon itself states that she was created -- and Danny's other clones too -- because Vlad gave up on trying to convert him to his side and decided to just make a son instead.
Something that just, doesn't happen in the stillborn-still born au. See, for folks who are only just hearing about this au or didn't see my post about Vlad in this au, he and Danny have a complicated love-hate relationship where they mutually want to adopt each other, but their morals and way of doing things -- mainly Vlad's insistence on getting revenge against the Fentons -- gets in the way of them being able to do that in full.
Vlad knows Danny wants him to adopt him, and is only fighting him on it because he refuses to let Vlad kill the Fentons for essentially killing the both of them. He's succeed in 50% of his goal. Canon Vlad never even made it to 1%. With that in mind, stillborn Vlad has no reason and sees no reason to clone Danny, he has his son. He just needs to convince him to let him avenge them both.
Dani simply has no place in the stillborn-still born au. And in fact, if Vlad did decide to clone Danny -- for whatever reason, -- it would damage his relationship with Danny damn near beyond repair. That's because Danny would view it the same way he views Damian's existence; as a replacement for himself. He would become beyond furious and hurt, and not for the typical 'I can't believe you cloned me, you creep!' reason, but for a 'I can't believe you cloned me, you said I was your son!' reason.
I am not pulling any punches here when I say Danny wants Vlad to be his dad just as much as Vlad wants Danny to be his son, there's just a lot of factors getting in the way. They are, as the french say, ✨mentally unwell.✨ Danny has a ton of abandonment and trust issues due to his experiences in foster care. He would immediately become jealous, insecure, and incredibly furious and hurt. He'd despise her on principal and want nothing to do with her, or Vlad for that matter. He'd just fucking haaate her. It's not her fault she was made but Danny doesn't really care, he's lashing out and pushing people away because he's been betrayed yet again.
The only way they could get along or for Danny to actually like her in any capacity would be if it was his idea to clone himself. Which is like, kinda obvious but considering most clone plots tend to be non-consensual it's kinda gotta be said. He has to have a hand in creating her, that's the only way I can see him liking her in any way. Or if someone other than Vlad created her. If Vlad clones him though, all bets are off the table and he'll despise her.
TL;DR: Dani can't exist in this au because she goes against the narrative I've got for the two most fucked up half-dead could-be-father-son duo in existence, but if she did exist Danny would despise her.
#dpxdc#danny fenton is not the ghost king#dpxdc crossover#dp x dc#dp x dc crossover#dpdc#danyal al ghul au#stillborn? no still born au#stillborn danny#danyal al ghul#dpxdc au#vlad masters#dani phantom#he's what the french like to call 'emotionally unstable' <3. vlad is a possessive parent thats obvi but DANNY is a possessive son#he is SO not mentally okay. he's a good kid! but he's also mentally unwell and incredibly traumatized <3#he doesnt play nice with his biological siblings unfortunately :((#danny as a default pushes his people away from him and flinches away from most conventional affection bc he thinks its insincere#and it takes a while to convince him that yes you do actually care about his well being and you're not going to hurt him.#he really is just a traumatized cat that you have to coax into letting you pet it. he clings onto the people he trusts like a terrified cat#have you ever tried pulling a cat down from something when their claws are dug into it and the only way you can get them down is by hurting#them a little because you have to yank them off? yeah that's danny.#if dani DID exist and Danny and her DID get along she'd spend a lot of time also convincing him to let vlad kill the fentons. danny keeps#trying to tell her murder is wrong. dani just says 'but they got you and dad killed' and unfortunately she is as stubborn as her brother an#dad. she gets to be a little evil. as a treat <3. she also doesnt like damian but that's because she too is a possessive sister#who doesnt like to share and damian already *has* a bunch of older brothers. he doesn't *need* danny. and also he's a replacement#we love complicated family dynamics <33 THE most dysfunctional half-dead not-family ever.
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juvie buddies
#alek art#td duncan#td mal#total drama#total drama all stars#(if i want to get technical)#2024#duncan is around 15 here... mal is around 16#ive thought really hard about them these past few days . in my brain they actually knew each other and canon is different#duncan and mike got along really well. in juvie mal refused to speak to anyone about anything and would fight as many people as he could .#he wanted to stay in there and far away from home . they get roomed together and duncan is the first person who mal can talk to . he isnt#scared of him . he relates to him a lot . like -> wow we both act out for attention and people think we are terrible because of it#duncan being a mentally ill teenager seeing mal an also very mentally ill teenager thought 'i can fix him' . mike and duncan speak too here#i cant really see anyone else fronting besides those two . their brain was on lockdown and mike wanted out so bad . i see manitoba as a#gatekeeper so hed handle some sessions with their psych. i want to say they (duncan and mike) get moved to a psyche ward just because#i have more knowledge on being in one and how it goes ... but yeah i like duncan mal a lot . this art isnt ship whatsoever though 🙏 i dont#see them as a couple their dynamic is just better as friends imo#but anyways in all stars they obviously recognize each other but have an unspoken agreement not to say anything abt it#duncan is a known criminal but mike isnt like that . mike hadnt even told zoey about that part of his life . so duncan wanted to respect his#privacy -> then mal starts hurting people and he has to step in . mal isnt a good person by any means but i dont think he was that bad in#juvie . so duncan had to come to terms that his friend wasnt the same person he was years ago (in all stars duncan is ~18 and i think mike#is almost 20... so it had been a while since they last talked)#them getting each other like no other and being in pain because they couldnt really speak . i see them having a conversation still in moon#madness abt their past and history . god i just think abt them and their wasted potential wdym mike and duncan were in juvie together#duncan was in for trespassing or destruction of private property or something really dumb . mal fought his parent(s) and got in for assault#mal was already in when duncan was placed . and duncan was let out early on good behavior + his parents (dad) mostly did it to teach him a#lesson . wrong of them or otherwise . so mal was just kinda stuck there until they realized he was actually not right in the head . think he#knew abt their DID but was only diagnosed in juvie and had to go from there . tbh he shouldve been tried as an adult but td logic . doesnt#matter dw guys . mike gets the 'was put on random meds that made him go braindead' treatment bc that was me . post mental hospital abilify#had me messed up
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finally finished cricket's group
#minus the journalists who are doing the doc on him but like. whatever.#cricket has friends!#yay!#in order it's cricket (duh). kai. tabs. emmy. mari. alice.#none of them have apocalypse nicknames yet. except. cricket. which we have established. i'll get to it.#mari & kai knew each other prior to the apocalypse. so did tabs emmy & cricket.#emmy is cricket's gf & tabs is his best friend :-)#they sort of just found alice along the way. her & kai get along really well#half of these guys are dead by the time the cricket arc is over lol#all of them are dead by the time mbz is over. only because. the apocalypse in mbz is not the kind you can survive long term#the ground is literally poisoned.#fun fact about mari: in the original version of the kel & co story (the one with the portal...)#her & kel dated lol#um. but in mbz she's like. a decade older than him. she's i think..... 29? i'd have to check#they don't know each other at all in this universe. this group & the main group have like. zero connection.#these guys are just a lil side story bc i kinda missed them & wanted to bring them back#i legitimately have not touched them since probably 2012#n e way#mb:ex#rainyrambles
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Soooooo I did lich emmrich...for science..
AND IM SORRY I DONT LIKE IT HOW IS IT MORE COMON THAN SAVING MANFRED??????????
#i have a feeling its simular to those who ascended astarion bc they believed his act#but waaayyy less evil and way more healthy#like im a strong believer that if emmrich wanted to become a lich so badly#he wouldnt be asking us to make that decision for him#it feels kinda cheap to encourage him to live and embrace mortality#then be like “actually jk its your dream so go do it”#one of the biggest sticking points for me is his reasoning to become a lich#he'd be more in tune with the fade and see all its secrets and such#but it would also allow him to “be of service past” past his time#like my sweet gentleman sir#what YOU want is what matters#screw what the necropolis wants others will come along and continue your work as you did for those before you#people die. lives end. we wont get to finish everything we started#and thats normal and okay#emmrich is in such a fascinating position where he has the chance to say no to all that#and actually live 5ever#but is a long life better than a life well lived?#on the other hand: get dat skeleton ass baybeee if thats what youre in to#im just fascinated by if lichdom is something emmrich really wants#or something he thinks he should want#im sure ill rant about this another day lmao#feel free to chat with me about yalls thoughts cause id love to hear them!#dragon age#da4#da4 spoilers#datv spoilers#da:tv spoilers#emmrich volkarin#veilguard spoilers#emmrich spoilers
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with a few minutes' reflection and a second conversation with my parents I have realized that I may have overblown things and overreacted a bit and also in some ways they're correct even if I think they're also harsh about it
#we talked it out. i don't think they intended to be hurtful they're just trying to make me see how badly my pessimism#can impact others?? I think all three of us were pissed off during the first conversation#there's a lot of other stuff going on behind the scenes too that I don't want to talk about#but like. my parents aren't total jerks. when we aren't all being belligerent to each other we get along quite well#and I really do respect them quite a lot. some days we Do Not do well at Being A Good Family though#my dad did say that he's seen people apparently cringe away from me when I'm acting annoyed though#which... may honestly be true. I have a very readable face and if I'm upset people tend to notice#I just... I talked to them again and realized that I took that one thing to mean ''everyone hates you and is just pretending to be nice''#idk if I agree about what my mom says about me bringing a Vibe that brings the whole room down#I think that one may just be because she's so used to me complaining to her about everything bc I... do actually complain too much#but anyway. we resolved the argument. my initial ''my parents told me everyone dislikes me'' was uh... MY inference#and not actually the words they said#I also think I should stop complaining online so much. it's just letting the complaining spirit grow#re: my last post
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can't stop thinking abt how much my grandma would've loved toji.....
#she was a very bossy woman#but not in like a mmm rude way#she was just the head of the house yk?#she lived at the countryside and so there was always smth to do#i used to spend all of my summers and school holidays there with her#and every weekend when my parents and her son would come visit she just gave everybody a job lmao#oh wait so she wasn't technically my grandma she was my grandma's sister but . to me she still counted as a grandma okay#anyway#i think if yk she'd still be here and i were to take toji with me to there#they would get along very very well#bc i think toji would do everything she said without a question or a complaint#she was a big talker too so i just like to imagine him helping her out with whatever while she tells a story about whatever#and he is . listening#perhaps peeks at what i'm doing in the meanwhile but he's good okay#he's gonna be a good little worker hehehhee#(and i'm gonna be drooling for the entire time bc holy fuck he's like dirty now and he's sweating and he's being sooo so nice and mmmm sexy#and then for dinner we barbeque smth and he gets to show off his skills with the grill sahgdghsdhgsagdas#and then ofc we go to the sauna and then swimming#i would've loved to tell him stories about the place#and then we'd sleep in a bed that's just a bit too small but neither of us care#and i would whisper more stories bc i have sooo so many stories to tell abt the place and her#mmmmmmmmmmmmm#i miss her and i miss her place#it's still there like i still occasionally go and visit (her grandkid is taking care of it now) but it's not really the same anymore#anyway i think the morning would be sooo so lovely too we'd get coffee and she'd most definitely makes us pancakes and wahhh#i think this is one of the sweetest daydreams of mine#i think he would've loved it there a lot#despite all of the work#i think he would've loved it#miji
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should I finally get around to watching Agatha all along I love gay women and murder and assholes
PLEASSSSEEE DO ITS SO GOOD.. I have rly low expectations when it comes to marvel shows and mcu in general bc. I mean. yeah. but it’s rly good Agatha is such a Character. Tbh I’ve never seen a female character like her in anything before, and so that’s exciting to me too.
the only thing is if u do watch it u also. Kind of have to have watched Wandavision for it to make sense. But both series are only like 9 episodes and 40-30 min episodes
#ask tag#agatha all along#idk if you’ve seen Wandavision#I’ll advertise it too#Wandavision is good. Very good. A lot of psychological horror.#Really well written (so is Agatha all along) imo#Both shows are really heavily centred on grief and trauma#Agatha is in Wandavision she gets a cute little villain song#I’ll admit I find the superpower cgi a bit stupid looking in both shows (less so in Agatha bc it fits into the setting better)#And I remember the way Wandavision ended bothered me. A lot of that may have been Agatha related and that might be cured now bc of her show#And knowing she’d get out of her mind prison#But overall yeah both shows are reallly good#Oh man and Kathryn Hahn is such a good actress#She really sells Agatha’s drama#And she’s so funny and also really attractive and idk sorry I’m fangirling#Honestly I’d recommend going straight into Agatha after Wandavision instead of waiting several years like I did#And then being really confused as to why we were in a trashy detective drama bc I’d forgotten that Aggie got trapped in a mind prison
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tho i do get why there were complaints because "i can't fix him" is a quite charged thing to say, and it feels like an oversight on the writer's part. but the main purpose of that was to point out that instead tori Can do it so i think it's an offense that can be overlooked
#LIKE i read that and raised my eyebrows. when have we been going in this direction#but i feel like it's a case of a writer that doesn't get it and so we can kinda gloss over it bcs they didn't realize it was important#rather than we must take as a fact that wataru has been trying to fix eichi all along#because like. aren't wataru inner thoughts usually pretty rare to come across#i think the fact that there Was one already points to a slight sense of unawareness to what fine's writing is usually like#but well we don't really know who the writer was anyways#mar's midnight rambles
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hey so do you think wtv keiko had to deal with growing up with yusuke could be considered a type of parentification
#god chapters where barely anything happens except a character's realization about things can be hard ...#im writing another keiko pov chapter and it's hard because well!!#keiko was never really a main focus in the series and as time goes on she gets even less of a focus so i have to fill in these spots#in her personality and views that aren't really explored. im taking a lot of liberties lets say#and idek if it's gonna read as in character cos of that#anyway im tryna say that like. pre series keiko was basically this presence in yusuke's life and he saw her as a pain but he cared#she was there to scold him and cajole him into going to his classes and she was his only friend#now we know atsuko was negligent and idk how involved the yukimuras were in his life but i feel like keiko#whether directly or indirectly was given this duty like you have to keep him outta trouble#you're smart you're mature he needs someone like you. this responsibility just kind of put on her before she can understand the weight of i#and she can't really comprehend that weight until it's abruptly taken from her. yusuke dies and there's no one to shepherd#i feel like keiko should get to be mad about this. this realization of the nature of their dynamic. keiko planning things around yusuke#who's never done that in his life. not because he's purposely being thoughtless but bc he was never the one to have to plan#to think about what their future looks like. he just kinda drifted along and keiko tried to do damage control. it wasn't fair#yusuke is keeping secrets from her she is scared of high school and that he'll die again without her knowing why and it's unfair#so she should get to be mad also because girls getting to be mad is one of my favorite things 👍🏼#the realization that yusuke won't be lost without her so she shouldn't hinge her life on the expectation that he will be#she worries about yusuke a lot i think. especially after he comes back from the dead. and i think kuwa's presence would help ease that#dread in her heart. it doesn't have to be just me. there's someone who can be there with him always and it doesn't have to be me#the guilty relief of not having to be the sacrifice. but kuwa doesn't mind so maybe it's okay this way#idk just rambles about my fic while i puzzle out how to word it#character analysis#yukimura keiko#yu yu hakusho
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its important to go see a low stakes concert sometimes
#as in seeing someone in concert youre not an absolute nutbag about (as i have done this year and last year)#but last night me n my dad went and saw renaissance on their farewell tour#running on like 4 hours of sleep and seething to be at work right now#or rather i would be seething if i weren't so tired#new anger management hack: just get less sleep so your senses are dulled! anyway#funniest part of the night was the multiples times when my dad who is old was like 'everyone here is so old :/'#he was literally like 'if i ever get like these people just shoot me' LMAO#the concert was good i wouldn't call it like great or fantastic but such is the beauty of a low stakes concert#youre not living and dying on every song youre not singing along to everything youre just. enjoyin the show normally which is crazy#again as someone who has seen two bands (both bands two separate times and is seeing one of those bands a THIRD TIME soon) im crazy over#that experience is fun its bonkers and you definitely gotta do it for the bands youre crazy over. you gotta#but it was nice to just. have a regular time at a show#as far as the show itself there were a few little moments where things didnt go as smooth but that may have been bc it was the first show#and save for a few moments in some songs annie haslam knocked it out of the park she can still sing as insanely good as she used to#again some parts of songs were in a lower key? but most seemed to be the same and she was still hitting those bonkers high notes#so good for her. the band was pretty good but i felt they really only like all worked together well on a few songs#if that makes sense. but overall pretty good#and my anxieties about getting there and back were unfounded bc somehow it all worked. yay#our car service trip home was in a tesla i felt like i was gonna die the entire ride home lol#i am NEVER getting in one of those stupid cars again. big ass ipad as your dashboard this is insane???? im so scared???#anywho. old musicians are forever as ive been saying lately. and they really are#oh also we were at the town hall which is a nice small theater i was worried abt bein too far away but it's laid out really well#in that you're sure to get a pretty good view of the stage#it seems like half the size roughly of the beacon for whatever thats worth#OH i did see one dude somewhere in the audience with a sparks shirt so. hashtag represent#yet another concert report. yayyyyy#(im so tired)
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hilarious that everyone makes a huge deal abt shuro proposing to falin in the epilouge placing bets OMG IS FALIN GOING TO LEAV going OMG is he gonna marry a WHITE WOMAN for a convo that was : I wanna travel the world but thanks for the offer! Okay cool good on ya. We should still be friends tho!
#dungeon meshi spoilers#Hard to get a read on his relationship w falin but seems they were legit buds on some level#Their relationships more interesting than it is on its face tbh that falin was seriously considering#saying yes bc she could be set for life and she was in an arranged marriage for awhile#tho also considering whatevers happening in the nakamotos house him choosing to marry for love is crazy.#But also interesting that his proposal made her think seriously abt the future for the first time#and express her feelings abt feeling stifled by her life choices being dictated by her brother n marcille#and her dream pf traveling the world which shes had for awhile#and her death breaks him out of his passive streak and allows himself to be a bit selfish and ask for something in his life#Like tbh makes since they get along well game recognizes game (passivity king and queen respectively)#we see shit happening but were not doing shit abt it gang#And theyre both considered really skilled at their respective specialties and theyre both quite smart#Do think a part of his proposal is that he wanted to take a friend back w him bc he didnt think hed be able to visit the island again#falins pragmatic streak is fun wish we saw more of her bc its clear theres a fully realized character there#theyre siblings after all
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such is the tale of a ✨chronically online hypocrite✨
#(please forgive this old folk’s rambling for a hot min bc i need to get this off my chest somehow and in some way)#tl;dr: come and get into the hw idol series!!! we have ship discourse; more ship discourse; even more ship discourse#(yes ik people should be free to ship what they do b u t claiming a noncanon ship as canon and forcing it on everyone else is. not cool.)#yes yes friday’s mv was visually cute and ino.rin’s singing was peak b u t i feel like it has caused more harm than good in some way???#i cant b e l i e v e the jp hwtwt beef over friday’s mv is still going on mannnnnnnnn#no less than 3 separate people have made posts along the lines of#‘p l s stop using [official tags] to post about *[unnamed] non-official ships* p l s there’s a time and place for everything’#and n o n e of them even remotely run in the same circles yet they’re all banded together against a *certain* group lmfao never change hwtwt#lhy (esp yhy) shippers are always at the scene of the crime mannnnnnn#i cant see anything on their end of the naval battle (has every single lhy tag+account that i could think of blocked)#b u t it’s still really funny to witness on my twtdash against my will. i think i need to touch grass#‘kyhn isn’t canon either so why do you like it while being such a hater towards lhy—‘#great question!!!!!! it’s bc (disregarding the movie) they actually interact really well together~~~ like the honeypre event y k—#and also bc yukki treats hina really nicely all the time (even when she was being tsun and literally running from her feelings for him)#a n d hina loved him for who he truly was; even before his image change arc. and she also does her best to appeal to him and such~~~~~~~#but lhy. uh. they just bully hiyo 95% of the time and while they do look out for her bc they’re pals#they’re just pals. guys. and lxl have gone ‘uwu it must be u uwu’ to each other one too many times so shoehorning hiyo between them would.#be pretty weird ngl? esp since the ‘widely accepted’ portrayal of lhy as a trio is p much just hiyo x 2 dudes who dont even like each other#and. like. a branch of such portrayals usually seem to have aizo waft away from the ‘r/s triad’ to date mona instead which is. very weird.#some people just pick and choose aizo and mona interactions dont they. all they see is the umbrella scene and go ‘ah yes. canon’#they dont even read further to see how mona doesn’t even use the umbrella after aizo leaves (clear rejection)#a n d how aizo doesn’t even remember giving the umbrella to mona + mona’s entire existence in general after that#and that’s not even counting the grudge mona refuses to let go of even after what looks to be literal months#so for certain shippers to just casually shoo aizo out of the hiyoharem and into mona’s unwilling arms for the sake of yhy is. weird.#and like. shouldn’t he and yujiro have a say in this?? they’re more interested in each other than hiyo so just how are they being commonly#portrayed as hiyosimps in fanon? im so confused… like. wouldn’t they be equally obsessed with each other (as w/ hiyo) if they were a rstrio?#aaaaaa get this off my twtdash plsssssssss pls see this post twtapp pls let this affect your dumb algorithm im tired of the ship discourseee#as funny as the ‘lhy vs the world’ naval warfare is it’s getting. um. very annoying!!!! and now im missing nagisa more than ever s o b s#plsplsplsplsplsplsplsplspls influence the algorithm ragepost; ik big brother is 👀watching👀 so do your thing—#(pls feel free to duke it out with me too if y’all read this i need my birdsite algorithm to le a r n that i dont wanna see stuff like this)
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my pet headcanon that has 0 evidence is that post canon emira gets music lessons from raine
both of her siblings got to have mentors and i think she could use an outlet to express herself as well as a positive adult figure to go to outside of her family
#eliot posts#toh#the owl house#emira blight#raine whispers#emira deserved more#i know why she didn't get much screentime bc there was limited time and she's a side character#but the fact that her twin brother got more than her. augh.#there's so much that Fascinates me abt her but especially like#the way she's got parentified oldest daughter syndrome despite her being a twin and gender roles not rlly mattering in this world#and like yeah we see her getting along w her father in the epilogue#but i personally imagine that she actually took longer to start to trust him than her siblings did#and i think she could really use an adult in her corner in the meantime before her dad fully proved himself to her#(as well as after that as well bc kids need more than just their parents)#and raine seems like they could provide nice support for her#as well as being one of the few good adults that doesn't have a direct tie to any of her other family members#bc i think she needs something outside of her siblings#i mightve talked abt this headcanon before but im Thinking abt it again
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feeling really in my own head and Bad today but on a light note i got some cute compliments yesterday at the renfest so thats pretty cool
#.tlktxt#there was a group of people in really pretty outfits so i was like. omg i love your outfits theyre so cool#and an older gal towards the front was like 'omg thank you i was just about to say you look adorable' and that was pretty cool#guy at a stand selling like. little plastic roses said something along the lines of 'youre too beautiful for someone to not buy you a rose'#and that one was really sweet to me. conflicted cuz it was unsolicited but i mean i felt good about it. i like feeling like im pretty#also it was just really cool. i wanna prepare myself a better cooler outfit for next year#erm butt. anyways :p#maizie is trying to think about positives and not. like die. we are working on it#i dont feel pretty today but thats also bc like. im in severely regular clothes. and i just walked and im really sweaty#and i didnt quite get yesterdays makeup off that well so i just. have really bad dark circles around my eyes. uhhhhh but. anyways.#yesterday was really cool.
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WHY THE FUCK IS EVERYONE FROM CALIFORNIA
#uhh more venty shit down in the tags#likee tw for csa or grooming or whatever idk#like uhh my bf (a complicated topic) is from california#and uhh yeah basically i have an ex gf that i broke up with bc I'm a shitty person#and i cheated on her with predators multiple times ykyk#and a) wanted to avoid guilt b) obviously staying with her was wrong c) she's a really good person and i wanted to feel worse so ykyk#and uhh we're still close friends#she really should hate me bc stuff but oh well that's a vent for another day#and yeahh a while back when she came over and we started talking mental health shit#and i impulsively was like “hey how about we troll this bloke that has been trying to get back in contact with me?”#uhh he's like 38 or something and uhhh we sexted for like a day .#while i was dating my current boyfriend.#wow i really am a shitty person#and then yeah we had been texting a little for like the previous 3 days#so me and ex gf kinda went along with whatever he was saying#until he called and realised there was 2 off us and blocked me#ANYHOW YEAH HE WAS FROM CALIFORNIA#and after that event i randomly started feeling intense hate for ex gf every once in a while???#I'm not exactly sure why but oh well that did happen#and anyhow yeah a few months ago#like just before i broke up with her i think#she recommended the song dogbird by madds buckley#i nearly cried when i listened to it lmao it's far too real#i really recommend it#but yeah i was already like pushing her away at that point and that song is basically about that#(also very sapphic)#and yahh this morning i was feeling Sad and i randomly remembered this song and i was like “damn that's on topic ima listen to it again”#it's even realer than i remembered lmao#and yeah guess where the girlfriend-that-was-pushed-away was mentioned to be from in that song?#FROM FUCKING CALIFORNIA
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